What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Come see our sink grown plant.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
