somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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