drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize