did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
