I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
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