I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
