He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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