your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
