my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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