im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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