i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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