one might say we're banned from that church
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
