no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
