Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
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