"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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