I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
