Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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