i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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