Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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