sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
