I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
