something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
