why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
