break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
