We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
