Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
