Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
