roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
