how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
