almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
