I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
