It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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