I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
