I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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