why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize