The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
