Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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