North Korea, Best Korea!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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