dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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