somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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