i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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