The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
it glows. i had to have it.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize