btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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