I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He told me they were just razor bumps!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
false alarm, still single
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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