I cockslap morals
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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