you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize