you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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