So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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