Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize