i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
