How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
