i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
