i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
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