32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
