remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
this will be a night to untag.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
