Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
