i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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