my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
