Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
