walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
