"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
what is it with giant penises always finding me
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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