You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
