Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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