It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
