I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
