Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
