is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
