I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
