We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
