I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
