Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
